Better Than Me
by S.equence
Summary: A songfic to Hinder's Better Than Me. Draco reveals his feelings for Hermione and reflects on his actions.


_I think you can do much better than me  
After all the lies I made you believe   
Guilt kicks in and I start to see  
The edge of the bed  
Where your nightgown used to be  
I told myself I wouldn't miss you  
But I remembered  
What it feels like beside you  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
_

Draco sat quietly at the Slytherin table, miserably churning the liquid in his bowl of soup. For once there was no smirk upon his pale face, just a small, sad frown. He sat far away from the group at the end of the table, resting heavily on a rickety bench by himself. His friends had left because he had told them the truth. He had confessed his love for Hermione Granger, and it had ruined his life. But even though doing so had wrecked his popularity he knew he still had feelings for her. He didn't want it to be over. He wanted to keep seeing her beautiful face, day after day.

He had tried to listen to his mother and follow his heart, that his heart would make him happy. All it had done was land him in a heap of misery and regret. He sighed and looked down the long table at his the rest of his House. They had left him after days of constant jeers of the once popular bully, now abandoned by everyone. Draco grumbled and shoved his soup into the wood. He got to his feet and started to go back to the common room, had held low.

From a few tables away Hermione was secretly watching him depart. She couldn't help but feel sorry for him, knowing what he must of gone through to get her. And for what? Well he must see something in her... Hermione sighed and was about to leave when something Ron said brought her back to her senses. She settled back into her seat reluctantly. _"Oh well," she thought, "He doesn't want me back anyway."_

_While looking through your old box of notes  
I found those pictures   
That you were looking for  
If there's one memory I don't want to lose  
That time at the mall  
You and me in the dressing room   
I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remembered  
_

Malfoy entered the common room and continued up to his dormitory. At least there he could be alone. After retrieving a few things from his trunk he climbed onto his bed, sitting silently on the covers. In his hand he held three excessively folded pieces of paper, one was older, a letter from his mother he had received when he was very small and the other two contained the delicate scrawl of Hermione as well as his own, unkempt writing. They were the notes they had kept in the one short week they had been together. It was painful for him to remember. They had even went to Hogsmeade that weekend and gotten some pictures taken.

And when they returned he had asked her why they were together, and if he was making her happy. He wanted to get that insecurity out of the back of his mind. He wanted to be happy with her. He was happy with her, really. She completed him. But there was something she was hiding from him, and it pestered him day and night. But that night was different. They stole Harry's invisibility cloak and Draco let her in his dormitory. They were together all night, but nothing could prepare them for the morning to come.

Those nut heads, Crabbe and Goyle found them together first thing in the morning, pulled Draco out of bed and told him he better get Hermione out of here quick, because one of the second years had told Snape. Draco looked over sadly, not wanting to wake his sleeping angel. Before he could even go back to wake her Snape burst into the room, eyes twitching in anger.

"TO THINK THAT MY FINEST STUDENT, WOULD BE CAUGHT SLEEPING WITH A GRYFFINDOR?"

He stomped over to the bed, throwing a now alert and startled Hermione to the ground. "Remove yourself, now!" Snape turned bitterly to Draco as Hermione stumbled from the room. "Draco! My office."

He hung his head, "Yes sir." He listened to the rest of the Slytherin's dissipating down to the Great Hall for breakfast and started the long walk to Snape's office. He had never gone there out of wrong before, usually it was for a bit of praise. It seemed to take longer to get there than usual but sooner or later, he was face to face with the heavy, stone door of the dungeon.

"Draco, let me explain this very clearly to you." Snape said, once Draco had seated himself. "If I _ever _catch you in a stunt like that again you will be _expelled. _You are very lucky I'm not speaking to Dumbeldore about this. And let me tell you, you are forbidden to come in contact with that Granger girl ever again. You should know better, ruining your purity with a mudblood."

Draco sat silent and ashamed. Snape was right. He didn't love her. Something must of been messing with his head. He sighed, nodding at his teacher's words. He didn't _deserve _to see her, _ever_. Not after the humiliation his actions was forcing them through. No, imagine how upset she was going to be. By talking to her he would only make it worse.

_What it feels like beside you  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this   
You deserve much better than me  
_

He sighed, crumpling the notes except for the letter from his mother into tiny paper balls. He brushed them inside his trunk and closed it, lying back against his bed. He shuddered slightly, surprised by the chill of his bed covers. With a sigh he wrapped himself deep inside his warm blankets and closed his eyes. _"I should try not to think about her."_ He thought to himself as I lay there, but he couldn't help it.

_The bed I'm lying in is getting colder  
Wish I never would've said it's over  
And I can't pretend that I won't think about you when I'm older_

He woke up and had to look around stupefied until he realized where he was. He was _not _making out with Hermione at Hogsmeade. He was in his cold bed, alone. And he had no friends. And no girlfriend. And no dignity. He sighed, running his hands over his bare chest. He stepped out of bed and got his things to dress for the morning. Tears filled his eyes as he remembered the peace and perfection of their relationship in his dream.

"_Draco, dreams can never be reality." _He shook the thoughts away and wiped his eyes. If he was ever going to get through this he was going to have to go talk to her.

_Cause we never really had our closure  
This can't be the end  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
(And I think you should know this)  
(You deserve much better than me)_

Once at the Great Hall he quietly approached the Gryffindor table and called Hermione over. He took her out to the castle steps and made sure they were alone.

"Hermione, I'm sorry to bring you out here like this, but I just wanted to apologize for leaving you." He looked down, realizing how much he was shaking. She bit her lip, then to his surprise, reached out and took her hand in his. "Draco… I know how you must be feeling, I wish that we could be together again."

"It's my fault Hermione, I'm sorry." He reached up and cradled her face gently. "Goodbye." He kissed her cheek one last time and turned, running back into the castle, tears streaming down his young face.

The End.


End file.
